More Family Visits

Friday 6th December

We had a slow start today. Abhi and I sat on the front porch steps to read the start of Colossians together.

Colossians 1:9-14

And so, from the day we heard, we have not ceased to pray for you, asking that you may be filled with the knowledge of his will in all spiritual wisdom and understanding, so as to walk in a manner worthy of the Lord, fully pleasing to him: bearing fruit in every good work and increasing in the knowledge of God; being strengthened with all power, according to his glorious might, for all endurance and patience with joy; giving thanks to the Father, who has qualified you to share in the inheritance of the saints in light. He has delivered us from the domain of darkness and transferred us to the kingdom of his beloved Son, in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins.

We discussed how this trip will give us plenty of opportunities to grow in endurance and patience, by the will of God and the sustaining power he provides. I have experienced this power at work in me this week, and I praise God for His grace to me in this way.

The second test match between Australia and India started today, so Abhi worked on connecting the tv to the sports channel while the rest of us finished breakfast.

After that we left to visit the family Appacha's sister, the eldest of the siblings. Her husband had a fall recently, so we went together to his room to meet him while he lay on the bed.

As we sat for lunch, I was silently pushing through another delicious yet spicy meal while the family spoke in Malayalam, when I had a sudden thought. They hadn't made any sustained effort to speak to me in English, to ask about my life, to get to know me individually. What if they didn't actually care? What if I'd misunderstood the situation, and they actually only saw me as an appendage to Abhi, someone to be seen and not heard? Soon I was fighting back tears.

Abhi noticed I was struggling, and he suggested we go for a walk on the forest-lined road outside the house. There I told him what had been bothering me. Patiently he explained that my fears were simply not reality, that the style of communicating here relies much more on volunteering information rather than waiting to be asked. I believed him, and we went back inside.

Lunch had finished, so we gathered back into the room for a time of devotions. The bible reading was Psalm 34. It was read aloud in Malayalam but I was able to read along on my phone.

Psalm 34:8, 17-18

Oh, taste and see that the Lord is good! Blessed is the man who takes refuge in him!

When the righteous cry for help, the Lord hears and delivers them out of all their troubles. The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.

I had to skim the verses because the words were going to make me cry again. The LORD is good, and He is near. That will always be enough.

For the prayer, everyone turned to face east, as is the custom with the Orthodox churches here. Then we took a group photo and said our goodbyes.

We travelled up the road to meet the family of Amini Ammachi, Appacha's second eldest sister, number three out of the eight siblings. We were also introduced to Usha Aunty, her daughter-in-law. They served us grape wine and cake in the formal living room, then gave us a tour of the house. It was a recent construction, with modern features such as a dishwasher and black window trims instead of timber. The rooftop terrace boasted beautiful views of the dense forest from all around. At ground level, labourers sweated in the heat as they landscaped the front yard, which was bordered by barbed wire just in case elephants came to the area. It was a pleasant visit. Usha Aunty spoke English fluently, and seemed pleased to show us around.

When we got back to The Retreat, I skipped lunch and instead slept for two hours. But the day wasn't over yet. We still had an evening gathering to attend at the house across the street. It would be with Appacha and Ammachi's close friends - the people who Ajay and Bindu would call on if Appacha and Ammachi needed anything at all. Bindu helped me get dressed into the white and gold saree they had gifted me last year. To complete the look, I added a delicate silver and rose gold necklace which Appacha and Ammachi had given me as a wedding present. Bindu and Ammachi wore their sarees too. Even Abhi was convinced to wear a mundu for the occasion, albeit begrudgingly.

They were a lovely bunch of people. They'd heard that Australians love a barbeque, so they cooked the fish over coals in the back yard especially for the occasion. We managed not to make any major mistakes, except that Abhi was gently teased for wrapping his mundu the Muslim way, and one of the women laughed that I called her Aunty instead of Chechi (meaning older sister).

After we'd made our introductions and while dinner was still being cooked, Abhi, Viv and I slipped away for about half an hour, just to sit upstairs on a hanging bench. We chatted about the event, Viv's upcoming university studies, and God's provision for us over the trip so far. Then Bindu found us, and I shared with her how much I'd missed Abhi the last time they came to India in 2019, as we were just starting to get to know one another back then. Bindu told us that back before we'd met, Appacha had picked out an Indian woman that he hoped would eventually marry Abhi - one of the women I'd met that night! That lady is currently studying to become a doctor, so I jokingly apologised to Abhi that he got stuck with a lowly engineer. He didn't seem to mind.

As the evening wrapped up, many of the women wanted to take photos with me. At one point I somehow ended up in the centre of a group conversation, having no idea what they were joking and laughing about. Bindu explained to me that they were teasing one of the women for being so short. She wanted to get a photo with me, but the height difference was so obvious. Once I understood that, I ducked down to her height as a joke, and the crowd burst into laughter. We took a photo together, with her standing on one of the steps for a boost in height. Earlier that same woman had expressed how she wished we could talk freely, without the language barrier, and that did a lot to allay my fears that no one wanted to connect with me.

I felt thankful to know that Appacha and Ammachi have such a great community to care for them. It would be wonderful if their visas could be approved for them to move to Australia, especially as they enter their eight. But it's no longer obvious to me whether this really is the best option for them. They'd be leaving so much behind. As Ammachi says, we leave it in God's hands and trust where He leads us.